Once, Twice, Three Times a Billy (Bob Thornton)

Forgive the old Commodores song title “Once Twice Three Times a Lady” (by the way was that a secret fat shaming title? an overly p.c. world joke…) But summertime always reminds me of middle-high school when I’d hear the sweet sounds of the Commodores at some carnival or outdoor event. This is actually a review of three Billy Bob Thornton movies I watched (or confessional tried to watch) over the last three days.

I’m a Billy Bob Thornton fan, yeh yeh Slingblade, sure, but I’m a weird one because I loved Bad Santa. There’s nothing funnier to me than an angry misanthropic BBT. But as usual, I was dissuaded by critics against Bad Santa 2. Can I tell you the utter shame I felt witnessing another (and now I know, MUCH sadder) holiday film known as The Office Party? I blogged about that walk of shame already.

So needing a laugh here, I threw caution to the wind and borrowed Bad Santa 2 worried I was headed for another shameful Christmas blasphemy. But Holy Almost Christmas in July! Not quite as funny as the first, I still think this film is laugh out loud worthy, far better and healthier than smoking a joint. I love Kathy Bates, she’s a balls to the wall type of actress and I respect that she, Billy, Tony Cox and Brett Kelly had the courage to make a non p.c. movie in this dicey climate. Hence, why it didn’t do well. The director Mark Waters deserves recognition also for directing.

My favorite scene is Billy Bob coaching Brett Kelly on what to do with woman, or should I say grandmother of the night, Octavia Spencer, hysterical. If everyone could lighten up a bit like these folks, the world would be a much better place. Rotten Tomatoes 24%, boo hoo to you. At least IMDB had it at a respectable 55. April Wolfe of the LA Daily is my new hero for speaking up for this film. (Though she enjoyed Jackie…proof that any given day, we can disagree on a film).

In fact if it wasn’t for the pablum of Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, I never would have sought out Bad Santa 2. But after suffering through an hour of formulaic: here’s a scene of the Middle Easterners, here’s a hot broad (Margot Robbie) being ogled by the soldiers, here’s poor Billy Bob as an angry uptight military leader, but safe authorized derision, not cynicism. It must have taken all of Tina’s strength not to rip the boring script out of Carlock and Barker’s hands and add some 30 Rock zip to it.

But sure enough, we Americans love our wars, so WTFT gets a 67% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Last I didn’t research well enough, panicking to get a third film with Billy Bob (that’s accessible at the library), I wound up with a documentary called Down From the Mountain about the music from O Brother Where Art Thou. Now I know what you’re saying, “oh that music was great!” Yeh, it was great because you had the spoonful of sugar (Goodman, Clooney) to help the medicine (sad country music) go down. I double dog dare you to rent this and be riveted and happy throughout. And while I had the fantasy that Billy Bob was playing on it or at least giving an erudite commentary….noooooooooooo, he’s just an audience member. I haven’t watch the special features yet, so there’s still hope of a BBT quote at least. *Post special features note: no such luck.

At any rate, give peace a chance and look at Bad Santa 2. I guarantee you’ll laugh five times. And who couldn’t use that release? At the very least, seeing a snowy Chicago (where the movie is set) will make you feel a little sweet breeze during the dog days of summer.

By Goldie

Aspiring writer who has retired from the institution of education. I've written plays, three of which have been performed both in Rochester NY and here in Sarasota FL. I also write stand up and obviously, film critique. My comment section does not work, so please email me your comments at irun2eatpizza@hotmail.com

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